Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
