In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize