Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
