He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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