I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
