summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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