How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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