Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
