just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize