My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
