NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
