I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
