Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize