I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My pussy is not your playground.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize