I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize