$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
