He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize