Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
