Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
nutella sex= disaster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
