Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
