Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
