So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
