wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
