It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
