Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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