youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
