ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
