I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
