You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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