(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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