You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
