Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
