and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
