he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
