i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
