I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
