the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
