found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
