just come out here and I will go home with you...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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