He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
