It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize