I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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