This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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