He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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