I wish I could punch you in the face.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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