I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
