Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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