There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
