operation harelip BJ is a go
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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