It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
