I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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