his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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