I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
