apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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