Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
