508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
