I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
