I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
