Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
