u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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