i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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